On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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