She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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