I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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