We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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