we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why do cheetos always look like penises
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
