we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i dont even know how to be here
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
