I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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