What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I look better un-naked...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
