member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
