I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
