We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
