Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
"it" just moved
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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