We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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