What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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