i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
