she was so not down for the gang bang
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
