Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
