I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
