Where is the hickey?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize