I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
wow bdsm is so cute
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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