lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize