I wish I could punch you in the face.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
