i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
