i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
