we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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