My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
