She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
