I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
