it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
