whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
