Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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