Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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