just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
