This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
