She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
