I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
