Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
