Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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