there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
