dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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