stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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