I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
