Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
