We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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