you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
