he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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