I am puke
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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