$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
