come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
