return my video game
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize