i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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