The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Less talking, more tequila
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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