Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this just has baby written all over it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
