I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
