I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
