I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
