grandma shit on top of the toilet
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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