Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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