He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
