this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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