No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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