The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
