It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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