tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
