Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
