I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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