my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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