Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
