hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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