i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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