Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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