started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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