No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
