What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I see more hoeing in ur future
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