i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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