try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
