you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
