Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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