Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
